If I were to look back in time at my ancestors, I would probably find out that I descend from a long line of gatherers. It is the only thing that could explain my pack-rat mentality. Now, don’t rush to judge me. I do not have piles of items reaching my ceiling or anything crazy like that. No, I just find that it is very hard for me to get rid of keepsakes. Maybe this is tied to my problem with moving on. Either way these mementos are packed away in boxes or filing cabinets, rarely seeing the light of day.
In talking to my best friend F, we realized that we both have some keepsakes that have collected dust for far too long. I think you know what I’m talking about, the ex-files. Yes, the ex-boyfriend files are our link to the past when feelings towards these boys were all warm and fuzzy and we hadn’t yet realized what jerks or losers they truly are. Items in my “collection” include pictures, notes, ticket stubs, hotel keys, and miscellaneous clothing items to name a few.
I do not know why I’ve kept these items for so long, but I definitely find it hard to part with. However, with F and I backing each other up we’ve decided that it is time to part with the old in order to make room for the new. We are holding on to relationships of the past that crumbled before our eyes, sure they taught us valuable lessons but the files are not contributing to our well beings. On the contrary, it’s probably more unfair to hold on to our Exes while actively pursuing futures with new men in our lives.
The date is now set for our bonfire. We both have a little over a week to find all the bits and pieces of our ex-files and bring them to a little un-ceremony Christmas weekend. All items marked for disposal include anything that has a direct and obvious link to these boys. However, we do not have to give up gifts or items that have practical use (like my Ipod). Maybe we’ll say a few words or maybe we’ll just toast marshmallows.
Right now I’m a little anxious for the day to come; I have excitement mixed with doubt. The pictures are going to be the hardest things for me to part from. What does it say about me that I can’t see myself getting rid of these tainted memories? The words on the page, the faces in the pictures, and the sentiments behind the gifts do not carry any meaning anymore. I remembered the song "Burn" by Usher and after listening to the lyrics, I'm realizing its definitely for the best:
Thursday, December 13, 2007
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7 comments:
Deep in a draw next to my desk at home, buried under Gaming manuals and walkthroughs and post it pads is a sealed envelope containing the only two pictures of my ex wife that I have left. I found them when I was cleaning out my desk at work one day years ago and remembered putting them in this envelope so that I could keep them, but never look at them. Will I ever throw it out? Probably not since it's part of my past and having them reminds me of the mistakes I made and also of the good times I had.
I can definitely see your point. Boy do I need to remember the past to learn from my mistakes. But the one thing I won't get rid of is my writing. I have journal entries, poems, and miscellaneous essays that document the good times and the bad. What I don't need to keep is his oversized t-shirt that I use as pajamas. I think everyone must need that one thing to hold on to, to remind you of what you let go.
This reminds of that one episode of Friends where the firemen come and blah blah blah. Anyway, I say go for it! It'll be cathartic.
I dont know if I could throw alway all that stuff. I, like you, am also a huge pack rat. I kept everything.
Don't you think later on down the line you'll want at least SOME of that stuff?
I too am a pack rat but I somehow was able to toss all of the pictures and momentos from relationships past. However, I do have a sweatshirt from practically everyon eI have ever dated. Odd, I know.
I keep mementos of relationships too, but I store in a box and never ever go back to them. It's weird, I'm not really sure why I keep them after all...?
this is such a genius idea. although i have to say the pictures would be hard to part with. maybe scan them and put them on a CD that you could keep? you would never have to actually SEE them...
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